ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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