I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
