you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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