I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
