Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
