Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you had me at cake vodka
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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