Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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