It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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