Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
