peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
