I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
