I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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