Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
