I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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