May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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