Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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