I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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