we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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