marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
