I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize