thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize