The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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