It's Friday. Sex?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
