Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
