All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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