I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
