I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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