Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
