I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize