I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
