he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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