S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
