Im at strip club and am horny
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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