Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
