There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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