We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
