She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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