I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
