The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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