Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
