So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
