Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
