those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize