the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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