Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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