i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
