I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
