Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
