Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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