do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
