You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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