Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
