I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just blew my weed a kiss
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
