there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
