Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
