Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
