can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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