You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
