Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
